Time to clean the house of friends, and have it cleaned for the real friends

I used to do housecleaning back in San Francisco. Did you know that about me? For about 10 years I did run my own business cleaning someone else home. I am proud about that. It did provide me good income to live in one very expensive city, and certainly, one of the most beautiful cities in America, maybe in the world, but most importantly, it allowed me earning the trust, respect and appreciation of my clients. Most of them, now, are good friends back in San Francisco.

My parents taught me a lot of things, and one of them was respect for others. Respect for a human being. Did you know that about me? My parents, they are not perfect. One day I behaved so badly that my Mom threw me a kitchen pan, which I was lucky and missed it, and it ended up in the middle of the street. A busy street!!! Thankfully it didn’t hit anybody or a car either. My mother, one of my BEST friends.

I am writing this because I’m going through a moment, right now, wondering about “friendships”. What’s mean? I am wondering about time. Lack of time to do things? I am wondering about manners, especially good manners. Basic good manners. Do we know about manners? What about care? Do I care?

Communication means, to me, a 2 ways street. Not matter what; it is the process of sending messages between, at least, 2 human beings(most of the time). But, it seems to me that the communication, and good manners, and care, and respect for others don’t exist anymore, or simply, who cares. It seems to me that we “do not have time” to maintain the natural and proper flow of the communication process, or being present in the moment as Patsy Rodenburg would say. There are messages sent, and never heard back. The communication stopped. The technology is there to use it, and supposedly to help us to keep the flowing of messages and connections on among human beings, but that is not the case I have experienced lately. Sometimes I have to resend the “same” message to hear something back. A whisper. A smoking signal.

Oh Juan Carlos, but we are busy. Of course!!! Si…we are busy (muy ocupados in Spanish). Oh, that’s why, that must be the reason. Interesting is to know that lately I have been working with some friends in the production of a movie here in Boston, and I asked 2 good friends, one is the Vice President of Sales of his Company (big company), and the other one is the Founder, Chairman, former CEO, and now COO of his company (even bigger in California) about donating something for our fundraiser. They both got back to me within 24 hours. Not once, not twice, but 3 times with friendly responses, gracious and kind words, and good donations. I asked another friend in town to meet me, he is the Vice President of Development and Communications for a charity organization, and he was there, present and giving me advice and attention when I needed.

We have things to do, of course we all are busy, but there is a lack of more than just time. Lack of manners, lack of respect, laziness, careless attitude, that I keep wondering about some friends. What is going on? But, more importantly, are those the kind of friends I want to have? Not sure. People who never get back to me after a phone call was made to them, do I want to work with these people? I am disappointed; I am hurt about the lack of everything, but time. Time is an excuse that doesn’t work anymore, at least not to me. There is time for everything if you really want to do things, if you really want to respond a message, and keep the communication and connection on among friends. But not, we are choosing not to be present, and therefore not to be real, a real friend.

Then, time to go back to my old job back in San Francisco (Oh, San Francisco!!!): housecleaning, but this time, my own house, myself. At the end of the day, I will have more time for my real friends, my family, my hobbies, my planet Earth, God, my partner Shaun, my best friend Maryalejandra. Let’s go, and clean.


Time to clean the house of friends, and have it cleaned for the real friends